I’m really not very good at this. I’ve just launched in with very little – make that no preparation. I never even followed the advice to write several in advance. The only thing that made me look like I was ahead of the game was the fact I didn’t realise you have to actively make your blog public. I’m still not properly public. I’m piggybacking on Speccy who is kind enough not to object, and who is doubtless far too busy in the run up to Rare Diseases Day to mind. (Yes, I’ve warned my office; we’re raising our hands!). But I’ve had replies already! How weird is that? Hello world, indeed. And this tentative venture suits me. I’m doing this in little steps. Nothing terrible has happened yet. This is quite fun.
Heretofore, the only thing I knew about blogging, was from Julie & Julia. It made blogging look like a lot of work. And there was far too much cooking, and I’m not remotely into cooking. I won’t be blogging every day – well I know that’s obvious. I don’t even write my diary every day, never have, but there’s still almost four decades of volumes in my house. So this will grow. And eventually I will learn to upload a nice little avatar of myself. There will be more pictures than my one solitary willow warbler. I will make links. I will do a little more background research that I’m doing at the minute, which is zero. Right now, I’m not blogging, I’m splurging. But I kind of like the freedom just to dive in and and write, and not care (well, care, as it were, a good deal less) about how it reads or sounds. I love writing poetry. I love the challenge, the puzzle, the work, the hours sitting staring into space, or writing the same sentence a hundred different ways, a hundred different times to get it right. I loved looking up dictionaries, thesauruses, to get the exact precise word that finally captures what I mean to say. And says it better, says more than I ever thought possible, that resonates, takes on a life of its own, that is utterly separate from me.
But that takes weeks, often months, of work, often with huge fallow times in between. Right now, I simply don’t have that kind of time. And I love my new work. Rather to my own surprise, not just the roaming around the countryside like a crazy woman, listening for, tracking, recording, songbirds; but weird things, things that I never expected to like. Like stats. I can see myself getting into stats. I’m turning into a nerd. I’ll never be brilliant at them, but I’m getting a serious glimmer into understanding them. And you know what? They’re not that hard. I’ve done harder.
So, I’m trying to keep my blog-writing to about half an hour. A half hour is sparable. The busiest day can release half an hour. Or twenty minutes. And I’m trying not to edit, just write, just say it. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to exist. And as I write, more and more new ideas keep coming. I’ll never write the half of them. But, in this forum, I will write some of them. And this is different to writing a diary. The fact that I’m offering this out to the world is itself a discipline, a way to ensure that I stay focussed. I know this particular post is a little tangential, somewhat off target, but it’s good to be able to say, even this early on: I’m still doing this. I’m still here.